1. Avoiding sexual
contact does not mean
avoiding each other.
2. Make an
agreement together, that if
you desire to postpone a family at this time, you will both make an
effort
to engage in other activities to avoid sexual arousal.
3. Have a
plan on what to do to avoid sexual
arousal during each fertile phase. Don't let sexual arousal
overtake
you. Plan and prepare for alternate activities in advance.
4. Enjoy the
"honeymoon effect" - Enjoy
the love and bonding of engaging in non-genital activities and
anticipate
and look forward to resuming sexual contact on the next infertile day.
5. Remember
to avoid alcohol or any other
arousing activities that might tempt you to forget the above.
6. Examples
of other activities:
S-P-I-C-E* (*Adapted from Pope Paul VI Institute, Omaha, NE)
· Pray
together. Ask God to help
you learn to relate to each other in non-genital ways, and to develop
all
aspects of your marital life. Pray for the needs in your
marriage
and be open to God giving you new perspective on these matters.
· Read the
Bible together and have
in-depth studies together.
·
Sacrifice your needs and serve
others.
· Hug,
cuddle and kiss each other.
Hold hands, and fall asleep in each others arms without the demands of
it leading to anything else.
· Take
walks and engage in sports
together.
· Hug,
cuddle and play with your
children.
· Play
with your pets.
· Watch a
late movie together.
· Do
gardening together, or other
physical activities.
· Take
time to read together, or read
different material while you are sitting in the same room.
· Watch
historical videos or the
Discovery channel and learn something new together.
· Have
intellectually stimulating
conversations about history, politics, art, philosophy, medicine,
ethics,
psychology, the Bible, etc.
· Surf the
Internet together.
- C -
CREATIVE /
COMMUNICATIVE
· Show
each other "I Love You" in creative
ways … i.e. favorite meals, flowers, etc.
· Do
projects around the house
together.
· Plan
future vacations and short
trips together. Read travel brochures and look forward to
seeing
new sights together.
· Each of
you make a list of 10
special non-genital ways of loving that would be meaningful to you, and
then share them.
· Take the
time to have meaningful
discussions about what is important to you and make an attempt to meet
each others needs emotionally.
·
Ventilate frustrations and come
up with constructive solutions.
· Read
marriage-building books
together and actually implement the useful instruction.
· Keep a
sense of humor and be
sure to laugh together.
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